6) Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that "forsaking all others"
7) The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped-up ‘73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car.
Better yet, a Harley-Davidson!
8) Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really old) would get punched
in the head.
9) Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."
10) There would be "Tailgate Receptions."
11) Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.
12) Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.
13) Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the bachelor
party. The cost of strippers and liquor really does add up.
14) Men wouldn’t ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy or the wine colored
napkins?" They’d just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.
15) Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local
16) The bride’s dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be form-fitted to her ass.
17) Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of
chicken, pizza, and plenty of bar-b-que.
18) No one would bother with that veil routine. But they would insist that the garter be as
high up on her leg as it could go.
19) The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral/wedding (what’s the
difference) or something.
20) Invitations would read as follow: Tom (Dick or Harry) is getting the old ball and chain.
He’s getting married. He either:
A) Knocked her up,
B) Couldn’t get a different roommate, or
C) Caved in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean for him For the
rest of this life at Soldier Field Stadium On the 50-Yard Line at Half-time during Sunday’s
Game Please join us at the Moonlight Lounge after the game For Beer, Nachos and Pizza. Oh
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Thanks for providing all these tips which will be very useful for Men, those want to arrange their wedding properly. I hope you can also resolve my problem too; I need to search out wonderful Chicago Wedding Venues, please give your reviews on it!!