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The Funniest Greatest Proverbs

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The Funniest Greatest Proverbs

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1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

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Doris Doris
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

Life is a banquet and some poor suckers are starving to death!!
bill in detroit bill in detroit
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Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes. By then you have a mile head start and you're wearing his shoes.
Kendogbarn Kendogbarn
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

In reply to this post by Savings for You!
Where there's a will, there's a relative.
allen in asheville allen in asheville
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In reply to this post by Savings for You!
a successful suicide is an undisputed do-it-yourselfer. D.I.Y.
Anonymous Anonymous
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In reply to this post by Savings for You!
if sarcasm is lieing about telling the truth than what it is?
Also anonymous Also anonymous
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

What? Try again coz that doesn't make any sense at all.
eric eric
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the early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten. so the question is: are you a bird, or are you a worm?
wtf@wtf.com wtf@wtf.com
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

WTF?
Nonsense Nonsense
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In reply to this post by Savings for You!
Confucius says: "Man who masturbates without tenga (http://www.tengatango.com) takes matter into his own hands."
Carl Bode Carl Bode
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In reply to this post by Savings for You!
I am just a lesbian trapped in a man's body
alec alec
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In reply to this post by Savings for You!
If darkness = the absence of light therefore the speed of dark = 0, as no entity exists within it, as darkness implies the lack of any physical matter, and with the lack of any matter there cannot be any speed.
n/a n/a
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

nerd alert
FamouslyUnknown FamouslyUnknown
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In reply to this post by alec
So I can speed with my lights off?
elaxs elaxs
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gus gus
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In reply to this post by FamouslyUnknown
if your driving at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on will the do anything
god god
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

no
fox fox
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In reply to this post by gus
speed of light & head lights:  It depends on you thinking... if you believe in hyper-dimensional theory  then  the photons emitted would shed energy into the aether until they are in another dimension at the lowest energy state.  if you are a more e=mc2 guy, then it would depend on the perspective at which you are looking at the light.
Barry Barry
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In reply to this post by Doris
You know, I'd tell you to go to Hell, BUT I work there, and I don't want to see you for eight hours a day.
Barry Barry
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Re: Greatest Proverbs

It's all the same fuckin' day, man!    Janis Joplin
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