The Corporate Zodiac

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The Corporate Zodiac

The Corporate Zodiac



1. MARKETING

You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study
in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much
what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.


2. SALES

Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree," you are
also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their
money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big
picture." You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.


3. TECHNOLOGY

Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to
completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't
understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the
geeks shall inherit the Earth.


4. ENGINEERING

One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety
percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself:
your office is typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However,
everyone knows what's really causing your "carpal tunnel"...


5. ACCOUNTING

The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office
politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your
extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you
are completely insane.


6. HUMAN RESOURCES

Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the
biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does
less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have
to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!


7. MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/"TEAM LEADS"

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best
suited to marry other "Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a
"Middle Manager."


8. SENIOR MANAGEMENT

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your
current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best
suited to marry other "Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a
"Senior Manager."


9. CUSTOMER SERVICE

Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life.
As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and
a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over
for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your boss.


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