Pet Diaries From Your Cat and Dog

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
1 message Options
Savings for You! Savings for You!
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Pet Diaries From Your Cat and Dog

This post was updated on .


diary of a dog

The Diary of a Dog

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

1-800-PetMeds - America's Pet Health Resource
Shop for Dog products
Shop for Cat products



diary of a cat

The Diary of a Cat

Day 983 of My Captivity

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

More Funny Stuff

Shop RatFinkTShirts.com Today!
Check out Savings for You! Your online shopping coupon code & deal source!

Sign up at Karmaloop.com now!Use Rep Code SAVE4YOU for every order for 20% off first order, 10% every order after that....FOREVER, or stack with another coupon cope for an additional 1% off that offer!Keep Rep Code SAVE4YOU handy for every Karmaloop order - and don't be greedy! ...

get your own website free