Men's Rules From the MALE Side

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
61 messages Options
1234
Elaina Elaina
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Men's Rules From the MALE Side


Men's Rules The Male Side

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.

 
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.  

Now here are the rules from the male side.    

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!  


1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.  Crying is blackmail.

1.. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
 answers to almost every question..

1. Come to us with a problem only if
you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what
your girlfriends are for..


1. Anything we said 6 months ago
 is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and one
of t he ways makes you sad
 or angry, we meant the   other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know
 best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you
have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have  no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that..

1.. If we ask what is wrong
and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying,
but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't
 want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine...
 Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking
 about unless you are prepared
 to discuss such topics as
Sports or Sex. (not necessarily
in that order)

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep
 on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really
don't mind that?????
It's like camping.......


 


Intellectual Woman Intellectual Woman
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

This makes men, overall, sound just as barbaric as women have always known them to be. Nice work, fellas.
DUDE DUDE
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

go make me a sandwich like you should be doing
Pantelis Pantelis
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

AHhahAH +1

or just like Cartman used to say "...go get pregnant or something..." :P
JimmyH JimmyH
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
Not really barbaric. Direct. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  It always has been. Unless of course you enjoy taking the great circle route and being disappointed. The difference between a "MAN" and a gentleman is that a gentleman can be direct without being crude.  That takes more skill that hinting or manipulation. And yet it is the kindest form of manipulation. It guides the woman into telling the man what she wants while all the time she tries not to and think that she is being coy.  
Electric Disco Duck Ball Electric Disco Duck Ball
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
Intellectual Woman,
 I believe you missed the point here. You are interpreting this as a statement of our barbarism. We have merely provided you a document with which your fair and lovely gender have failed to provide us males: a clear and concise reference guide for you to refer when you are questioning our intertwining and joyous lives together. This list provides you with information, insight and the honesty in order to promote a positive and harmonious life with you.

   
  While we realize your gender opted not to issue any instruction manuals with the model year, we feel perhaps on a barbaric level somewhere, that when all else fails, we've exhausted all other avenues, that perhaps we could better understand the puzzling object in front of us. We as males now formally notifying you, Intellectual Woman, we officially recognize the relationship as an object. It's owned by us jointly. We admit "it" exists and both party's are responsible for the maintenance periodically.

  We know you'll appreciate how we men will read the manual just one time and understand the rules for the object to be built. We are formally requesting just one copy to be presented to one representative of the male gender. Your homosexual friend Peter will not suffice. It must be a masculine and married male. He will know what to do with it.

  This manual is the reason why the internet was invented. The day you present it to us it will be distributed across the planet in the .500000000 nano seconds. Men going home from work will be whistling a tune and carrying flowers, chocolate and an airline ticket for your mother to come visit. You will no longer have to be hurt. We will no longer be confused about why you're crying. There will be no need for tissues outside of a funeral or the chic flick of the night. Or perhaps a wedding.

Dat Dat
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Elaina
Nice One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iCanTell iCanTell
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Elaina
Shopped.
Ralphie Ralphie
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Elaina
It's About time someone wrote this down.
But, can women read this without  crying foul?
thegnu thegnu
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
@Intellectual Woman: first off, this list is designed for entertainment.  I'm not interested in sports, for example.  Crying is not primarily blackmail.  It is used as such by a significant portion of women (notice I didn't say most), and I meet young guys who end up not protecting their interests because the girl they're dating is manipulating them with tears.

But the comments about the toilet seat are true.  Why invent a rule that causes discord when we can all be responsible for ourselves?  I'm willing to try to remember, but I'm not willing to put up with someone pretending that my forgetfulness means I don't love them.

If we ask you an honest question and you lie to us (eg, nothing's wrong), then expect to have the effect of your lie propagate through the relationship.  Men have less fashion sense than women, because we have fewer color sensing cones in our eyes, and society doesn't impress upon us the importance of color theory as it does women.  We usually do not care what you wear.  These two points are related.

To me, the above points are the actual important ones (that I recall) from the list.  And yeah, the list makes men sound brutish, but that's how these lists usually are.  Your brain apparently took the small part as the whole, and in your reply you responded to all men, when one guy posted this list.  You're obviously not that intellectual if you're unwilling to think things through.
Expert Expert
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by iCanTell
He's right, i've seen a few pixols i my days.
Dave Dave
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
Hey, girly. Blowjob. Pot roast. Move that cute little ass...
eoin...yeah eoin...yeah
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Elaina
There's something about this post that i like even more than the list. Its the fact that Intellectual woman called men barbarians, only to have several well worded, logical and thought through arguments thrown in her face. If i may generalise like you have done IW, men ARE better than women
didlydee didlydee
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

i am a "red blooded male" if you like, i just love the list and the many comments but at the end of the day we all know that niether men or women are overall 'better' but all are equally good at many things and lets face it, whatever your sexuality, men can't~honestly~live without women or vice versa.

what is facinating though, is the way, "that that certain type" of male or female come through in the comments and responces, i wont name names~you know who you are~that type that come up with sarchasm and arguments with double meanings in order to make a point and surely this is what the list goes someway to underline anyway! how can anyone possible argue with the fact that men are expected to put the seat down!!!!!! when the question of the decade, no, century, is why cant women put it up?? the main point here though is,,,,,yes,,,,,we put the seat up, and nine times out of ten put it down again and THAT is the difference if indeed there is one (we do that without making a song and dance about it)
O rly!? O rly!?
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
Pretty damn sexist there mizzzzzzzz intellectual women.
some guy. some guy.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
@Intellectual Woman. yes dear, you're absolutely right. well done, gold star, etc.

congratulations on interpreting internet satire as some sort of male handbook, by which we all live our lives.
if you go around in real life spouting these sorts of generalisations and knee-jerk judgements, you need to get married and find a nice man to take care of you, because, lets face it, with that sort of insulation from the real world, you need it.

on a more serious note, i'll have a plain cheese sandwich please.
BARBARIAN BARBARIAN
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
@Intellectual Woman: Don't get me wrong. I love intellectual women. You on the other hand are not one of them. If your answer to an honest/satirical explanation is to insult us, then my only hope for you is to send you to wikipedia.
BARBARIAN BARBARIAN
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

@everyone else: grow a pair. you sound like sulking girls. seriously. a lot of passive agressiveness.
couliseaux couliseaux
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

The reason men are required to put the seat down is that women can't handle that much responsibility. It's all that thinking about shoes and babies, it bogs down their brains.
Intellectual Man Intellectual Man
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Men's Rules From the MALE Side

In reply to this post by Intellectual Woman
didn't Columbus get lost?
1234